How Can I Navigate Conversations About Death and Dying in a Workplace Setting?

When discussing death and dying in the workplace, it’s crucial to approach conversations with respect, empathy, and cultural sensitivity. These discussions typically arise in one of two contexts: when a colleague is grieving a personal loss or when the workplace experiences the loss of a colleague. The ability to appropriately express thoughts and feelings about these topics can contribute to a supportive and compassionate work culture, while recognizing that everyone has different attitudes and perspectives surrounding death, dying, and bereavement.

Since death is often associated with stigma in our society, people often don’t know what to say to a coworker who is grieving a personal loss, such as the death of a family member. Likewise, words don’t always effectively communicate how we feel when witnessing someone else’s grief. However, it can be helpful to let your colleague know you’re willing to listen and support them. This can be as simple as sharing an empathetic statement, offering your time to listen, or following their cues regarding how comfortable they are talking about their loss. At the same time, it’s equally important to avoid euphemisms or statements that can minimize someone’s grief experience, such as telling them that time heals everything or that everything happens for a reason.

When a death occurs within the workplace itself, you may notice that even employees who didn’t personally know the deceased may express sadness or grief. Although it may seem unusual, this is a normal and valid grief response. Another way to navigate these conversations is to validate your co-worker’s grief and their perspectives regarding the loss. Taking the time to listen to co-workers and ensuring they feel heard and supported is important, especially since statements of invalidation can result in disenfranchised grief and further complicate an already emotional situation.

Due to the professional nature of the workplace, some people may struggle to determine an appropriate way to approach a grieving co-worker. However, it is always best to be your authentic self and communicate your genuine concern. Your co-workers will value your compassion and empathy during a painful and challenging time. If you notice that a co-worker is significantly struggling with a loss, take a moment to reach out to them. Alternatively, you can also contact your human resources department or supervisor to let them know that your co-worker might benefit from being connected to an employee assistance program for resources and mental health support.

Sources

“How to Support Employees through Grief and Loss”. SHRM. https://www.shrm.org/topics-tools/news/hr-magazine/how-to-support-employees-grief-loss 

“How to Cope in the Workplace When an Employee Dies”. Center for Grief Recovery and Therapeutic Services. https://www.griefcounselor.org/2017/11/28/cope-workplace-employee-dies/ 

“Working Through the Death of a Colleague”. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2020/11/working-through-the-death-of-a-colleague