How Do I Know That the Ashes I Receive Belong to My Loved One?

Before cremation, crematory workers place a stainless steel disk with a unique identifying number with the body of the person who died. The disk is around the size of a quarter and will not melt due to the temperature of the retort. It is also kept with the cremated remains throughout the process and included with their ashes when it is complete.

Crematories also have a variety of protocols in place to ensure that they do not misidentify anyone in their care. Since all bodies are identified and provided with a tag before the funeral home, or crematorium receives them, these facilities carefully double-check these identifiers before accepting the body for cremation. 

Identification processes can vary among crematoriums, but a few standard practices exist. These include visual identification, such as a photograph provided by the family or the staff at the place of death. Most facilities also attach a bracelet or tag with identifying information to the body of the person who died when that person arrives at the funeral home or crematory. The tags contain information such as legal name, date of birth, date of death, or even a social security number. The facility maintains documentation throughout the process to ensure that the person’s identity is confirmed before cremation.

While knowledge of these processes may be reassuring for you, it’s natural to feel uncertain about whether you are truly receiving the ashes of your loved one. If you’re struggling with these concerns and want to ensure that your loved one is not misidentified, a general recommendation is to contact the crematory in advance and ask if it’s possible for you to witness the cremation. This option allows you to see your loved one’s body as it enters the retort. Depending on the crematory’s policy, you may be able to watch a portion of the cremation or the entire process. However, keep in mind that cremation can take several hours.

Sources

“How Can I Be Sure The Ashes I Received Are Really My Loved One?” Everplans. https://www.everplans.com/articles/how-can-i-be-sure-the-ashes-i-received-are-really-my-loved-one 

“How Do I Know I’m Getting Back the Right Cremated Remains?” National Cremation. https://www.nationalcremation.com/ask-a-funeral-director/how-do-i-know-im-getting-back-the-right-cremated-remains