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Is There Any Way to Predict How I Will React to My Loved One’s Death?
Being present at the death of someone you care deeply about is a profound and sometimes life-changing experience. Thus, it’s impossible to predict how any one person will react. According […]
Being present at the death of someone you care deeply about is a profound and sometimes life-changing experience. Thus, it’s impossible to predict how any one person will react. According to Medscape’s “The Last Hours of Living,” emotional reactions of loved ones include everything from numbness to disbelief to abject despair. What’s important to remember is that any of these reactions is normal and expected and perfectly OK.
With that being said, for many people who have witnessed the pre-active and active dying phases of someone they love, the first emotion they feel is relief. They know the person is no longer suffering and no longer hovering in the unknown space between life and death, and that is a very comforting thought. Later, relief may be followed by a period of intense sadness, often accompanied by emotions such as fear, anger, guilt and despair. Some people feel as if their loved one has abandoned them; others simply feel terribly alone. Much of this depends on your relationship with the person who died and how emotionally connected to them you are.
Physical reactions are also not unusual following the death of someone you love. You may feel a hollowness or “pit in your stomach,” or a tightness in your chest, and your heart may race uncontrollably. You may even feel dizzy, as if you are about to faint. These are perfectly normal reactions to extreme emotional and physical stress, so try not to let them frighten you. Take slow, deep breaths to calm your nerves, and leave the area if you need to take a break. Death is not an emergency. Take some time to collect your thoughts and experience what you are feeling, gather with loved ones and process your initial grief. (Learn more in our section on grief and loss.)
Sources
“The Last Hours of Living: Practical Advice for Clinicians”. MedScape. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Linda-Emanuel-2/publication/267839765_The_Last_Hours_of_Living_Practical_Advice_for_Clinicians_The_Last_Hours_of_Living_Practical_Advice_for_Clinicians_CMECE/links/55045eeb0cf2d60c0e66e52c/The-Last-Hours-of-Living-Practical-Advice-for-Clinicians-The-Last-Hours-of-Living-Practical-Advice-for-Clinicians-CME-CE.pdf
