What Are Some Strategies for Managing Grief During Holidays or Special Occasions?

Managing grief is challenging, but can be even more of an intensely emotional experience during the holidays or special occasions. There are some strategies that have been shown to be effective in helping bereaved individuals navigate their grief during these particularly difficult days or periods. A few that may be helpful include: 

• Setting boundaries regarding what you will and will not participate in during the holiday 
• Maintaining old traditions and creating new traditions 
• Doing something to help someone else
• Find a way to honor your loved one 

Setting boundaries and maintaining them can be helpful, especially if there are certain activities or traditions that are likely to trigger a grief response. Similarly, although it might feel comfortable to participate and interact with friends and family for a brief period of time during the holiday or special occasion, spending too much time with them can be very difficult on an emotional and psychological level for someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. Knowing your limitations and when it’s time to take a break to spend time to yourself can be very helpful in these scenarios. 

Traditions are often part of holidays or special occasions, but can also prompt a grief response. It can be challenging to separate these from the experience since traditions tend to be associated with meaningful memories or reflections for the holiday. Instead of eliminating traditions entirely, one strategy is to continue old traditions and introduce some new traditions as well. This can help you to stay connected to your loved one and keep those memories close to your heart while still providing an opportunity to look forward to creating new memories to share with other loved ones. 

Another great way to manage grief during special occasions is to focus on doing something to help someone else. This can involve a charitable act such as feeding people at a soup kitchen or donating items to individuals in need. Some people choose to participate in an action that was meaningful to their loved one or upholds their legacy, whereas other people select a kind action based on their own preferences. Helping other people can transition your focus away from your grief and direct it toward the challenges that other people are facing in their own lives.

It is important to realize that strategies to manage your grief are not intended to distract you from the thoughts of your loved one or serve as a way to eliminate them from your experience of the holiday or special occasion. In fact, finding a way to honor your loved one is an excellent strategy for managing your grief since it allows you to bring aspects of what you love about that person into your experience of those special days. This might look like playing music they enjoyed, reciting a poem or a prayer that they found meaningful, participating in one of their favorite activities, sharing memories and telling stories about them, or looking at pictures of them. What is effective can vary for everyone, so aim to find a way to include and honor your loved one in a manner that feels the most supportive and meaningful for you. 

Sources

“How to Cope with Grief During the Holidays”. The Psychology Group. https://thepsychologygroup.com/how-to-cope-with-grief-during-the-holidays/

“Dealing With Grief During the Holidays: 28 Ways to Cope”. Choosing Therapy. https://www.choosingtherapy.com/grief-during-the-holidays/ 

“Dealing With Grief During the Holiday Season”. AARP. https://www.aarp.org/family-relationships/grief-loss-during-holidays/