What Is a Wake? How Do I Plan One for My Loved One?

A wake is a traditional social gathering before your loved one’s funeral. It is a common tradition among Catholics and sometimes includes a ceremony with a priest. During a wake, friends and family gather together to maintain watch over the body of the person who died, sometimes for a few days. Although the practice of wakes is associated with the Roman Catholic religion, there are many cultures that observe the tradition of holding a wake.

Planning a wake often starts with identifying a location to hold it. Wakes are most commonly held in the household of the family of the person who died, but you may also choose to hold them at other venues such as a funeral home, a place of faith, an event center, or even a hotel. Holding the wake at your private residence is typically the most affordable option, whereas outside venues can be more costly depending on how long you are renting the space. 

When you have secured a location for the wake, the next step is to prepare the space. This ranges from establishing seating arrangements to decorating the space for the gathering. Spaces that are used for wakes generally include photos and mementos of the person who died, a guest book, and a table for beverages and light snacks. If you are conducting the wake in your home, then the food and drinks may be prepared ahead of time, but they may be catered if you prefer to have the wake in a public venue. The space where your loved one will reside may also vary. Some families prefer to decorate and personalize this space in more detail, while others aim for a more minimalist approach. 

After making these preparations, the only remaining logistics to consider involve notifying friends and family members regarding when the wake will be held, and working with the funeral home to transport the body as needed. Although a wake is not required in many cultures, the decision to hold one creates an opportunity for attendees to share in communal grieving and remembrance during a difficult time. Since everyone’s approach to holding a wake will differ, what ultimately matters the most is that this gathering provides comfort to those who are grieving and enables them to express their feelings over the loss of your loved one. 

Sources

“Differences between a wake, funeral, and visitation.” Very Well Health. https://www.verywellhealth.com/wake-vs-visitation-whats-the-difference-1132123#toc-what-is-a-wake 

“The funeral wake: arranging & attending.” Untangle. https://untanglegrief.com/funeral-wake