What is the difference between grief, mourning and bereavement?

According to noted psychologist and grief expert Dr. Alan Wolfelt, grief is the “constellation of internal feelings” and emotions we experience in response to a loss —  the “internal meaning” we give to the experience of losing someone (or something) we love. As Wolfelt describes it, grief is the “container” that holds the thoughts, images, and feelings associated with the experience of loss. 

Grieving

Grieving may bring about a wide range of psychological reactions, including shock, disbelief, anger, sadness, helplessness, anxiety and despair. Many people feel guilty for things said or things left unsaid — this is especially true when a person dies suddenly [link to question below] and there is no time to say goodbye. Loneliness and yearning for the person who died is also common, particularly in older adults who lose a spouse. Physical reactions, including poor appetite, insomnia, low energy, and trouble concentrating are also common and normal during grief. 

Mourning

Mourning, on the other hand, is the outward manifestation of the experience of grief. Wolfelt calls it “grief gone public” and believes it is an essential component of moving through grief and integrating the loss. Mourning may include outward expressions of sadness such as crying or wailing, or it may be as simple as sitting with others and talking about the person who died. Mourning may also involve more solitary pursuits such as journaling, praying, or meditating.  Rituals and traditions that serve to memorialize and celebrate the person who died[link to memorial ideas] are also important elements of mourning a loss. 

Although not all grief experts agree [link to question 12 “Is it true I need to work through my grief?]Wolfelt believes that “authentic mourning” is essential to reaching a point in the grief journey where we can move forward into a new reality that doesn’t include the physical presence of the person who died. He refers to this stage of mourning as “reconciliation, “ a time characterized by a renewed energy, purpose and confidence, during which we come to accept the loss of our loved one both intellectually and emotionally. It is not, he stresses, “moving on” but simply moving through to the other side of loss. 

Bereavement

Although it is often used interchangeably with grief and mourning, the word “bereavement” actually refers to the period during which grief and mourning occur. “Bereaved” is also a term used to describe a person who has suffered the loss of a loved one, such as a “bereaved mother” or “bereaved spouse.” 

Sources

“Grieving vs. Mourning”. TAPS. https://www.taps.org/articles/24-3/grieving-vs-mourning