What Should I Expect When I Receive My Loved One’s Cremation Ashes?

Receiving the ashes of a loved one can be emotionally difficult. Knowing what to expect, from what kind of container they will be in to how much ash to expect, can help alleviate your anxiety and, perhaps, make the process easier for you. Here we review a few facts about cremation ashes you should know in advance.

• The amount of ash: The amount of ash you will receive varies a fair amount depending on the size of the individual and the density of their bones. (Remember, cremation ash is actually pulverized bone.) Taller people and men (who have larger skeletons than women) typically produce a larger volume of ash. According to sources in the funeral industry, a rule of thumb is that one pound of bodyweight yields about one cubic inch of cremated remains. So a 150 pound person would produce about 150 cubic inches of ash — or about 10.5 cups. The weight of the ashes also varies,, but is usually between 3 and 7 pounds. 
• The color and consistency of the ash: Unlike campfire ashes or cigarette ash, human ashes are coarse and gritty — about the consistency of sand — and may contain small fragments of bone. (You can ask your service provider to pulverise the ashes into a finer consistency if you think this will be disturbing to you.) Their color may be white, light grey or dark grey. 
• How the ashes will be presented to you: Unless you already purchased an urn and asked the provider to transfer the ashes for you, you will typically receive your loved one’s ashes in a temporary container, usually a cardboard box with the seams taped shut and labeled with your loved one’s name. Inside the box will be a “sealable container” (generally a zip-lock bag) containing the ashes themselves. 

• Important note: The cremation service provider or funeral director may offer to sell you an urn so that you can receive your loved one’s ashes in an attractive container. Keep in mind, however, that the Funeral Rule gives you the right to purchase an urn from whomever you choose and request that the crematorium transfer the ashes into the urn for you.  The provider is required to offer this service free of charge. 

Sources

“What Size Urn Should I Get?” Legend Urn. https://www.legendurn.com/how-much-ash-left-after-cremation-what-size-urn-do-i-need