“ilomilo”

Award-winning singer-songwriter Billie Eilish’s melancholy single, inspired by a game, recreates the fear of losing someone with chilling accuracy

Billie Eilish released “ilomilo” in 2020 as the last single from her debut album, “When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?” While the song borrows its title from the 2010 puzzle game, the meaning behind it is a bit deeper – and sadder – than this fact implies. The two characters in the game, Ilo and Milo, spend the game trying to reunite; “ilomilo” by Billie Eilish reflects a similar need, but in a much more painful way.

The Core of “ilomilo”

Eilish said herself the song is about “losing somebody, or being afraid of losing somebody and it being kind of inevitable.” The song attempts to recreate some of that dread, which she described as “horrible and terrifying.”

The song’s lyrics open immediately with Eilish trying to reassure someone, but in the same breath confessing that she’s more anxious than she’s letting on. This is a common feeling when one is dreading loss or already grieving it.

The song’s chorus focuses on the central theme of the piece — dreading losing someone after previously experiencing a similar grief. This kind of pain, trauma and sorrow can make life difficult and anxiety-inducing, especially in interpersonal relationships, and Eilish captures it well. 

Eilish goes on to describe the feeling of the world being blurry from tears — or a lack of seeing clearly — due to the loved ones she has grieved before. These lines provide real, tangible descriptions of grief under the song’s more abstract fear of separation. Life’s enjoyable moments can be pushed aside due to grief’s sorrow, even if a loss occurred in the past.

Eilish also notes the difficulty in forming or maintaining current interpersonal relationships due to unmanaged grief. It can often feel like it’s impossible to love others when suffering the loss of another loved one. 

The Sounds of Grief

The song was produced by Eilish’s brother, Finneas O’Connell. The melancholy lyrics are wrapped in skittering, haunting electronic percussion. It gives a feeling of chaos, or sounds that can’t quite find a solid foundation. 

Eilish’s voice distorts as the last line of the song repeats, “Hurry, I’m worried” leaving the listener just as anxious and unresolved as a result.

The Scope of “ilomilo”

This particular entry of Eilish’s may not be appropriate for a memorial service, as it focuses on the raw dread felt by those grieving instead of the loved one lost. The unresolved ending and lack of comfort provided in the song may also feel a bit unsettling for loved ones and those in attendance. It may be a cathartic piece to review in private moments of grief, however.

For anyone struggling with anticipatory grief, watching a loved one’s health decline can feel isolating. This song doesn’t talk the listener out of their fears, but instead sits in the darkness with them to provide solace and companionship. Naming the more difficult emotions out loud can help some manage them easier, but listening may be too tender of a wound to open for others.

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