What Are Some Emotions People Experience in Response to a Terminal Illness?

According to the American Cancer Society, people who are dying or who know their death is approaching experience a number of emotions. Some of these include:

• Fear: Many people say that they are afraid of dying, but what they often mean is that they fear certain things will happen as they die. For example, some people are terrified of dying alone; others fear physical pain and discomfort; while still others fear being dependent on others for their needs. Try to examine the fear, either for yourself or with your loved one, and pinpoint its cause. Then try to find ways to alleviate it through practical action. (For example, make a plan to have someone with the dying person at all times, or involve a palliative care or hospice team to help devise a plan for symptom control.)

• Anger: It’s perfectly normal for a dying person to be angry. Even people who aren’t actively dying may feel anger and resentment at losing abilities they once had, such as the ability to get around independently or drive a car. If you feel angry a good deal of the time and/or it is affecting your relationships with those around you, you may wish to speak to a counselor or mental health professional about learning ways to redirect those feelings in other ways.

• Guilt and Regret: A dying person may feel guilty for leaving loved ones behind, or regret for things they didn’t do while they had the chance. Understanding that everyone has regrets, but not allowing them to define who you are is a big step in allowing yourself to heal.

• Grief: Coming to terms with one’s mortality can lead to feelings of loss. Accepting death means giving up the illusion of immortality that we humans hold on to so stubbornly, and accepting that eventually we will cease to exist. Letting yourself feel that grief may allow for a period of introspection that can eventually lead to acceptance of what is to come. 

• Anxiety and Depression: Anxiety and depression are common in people living with a life-limiting illness, many of whom are trying to cope with challenging medical treatments along with the reality of approaching death. If anxiety and depression become overwhelming or debilitating, psychological counseling and/or medication can often help.

• Isolation and Loneliness: Terminal illness can impose a number of limitations on a person’s ability to interact with relatives, colleagues and friends. As time goes by, this can lead to intense loneliness, which is compounded by illness and infirmity. Fortunately, technology such as Facetime, Google Meet and Zoom have emerged to provide an effective bridge between frail individuals and their social network, as well as an avenue for communication with the healthcare team. 

Sources

“Coping with Emotions as You Near the End of Life”. American Cancer Society. https://www.cancer.org/treatment/end-of-life-care/nearing-the-end-of-life/emotions.html 

“Depression, anxiety, and delirium in the terminally ill patient”. National Library of Medicine. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1291326/