Our Monthly Tip: Plan a Secret Santa Gift Exchange to Commemorate a Loved One

Provide the opportunity for guests to share memories and mementos in keeping with the holiday spirit

The holiday season can be especially poignant when it coincides with remembering a loved one who has passed, but it also offers a meaningful opportunity to celebrate their life in a spirit of warmth and togetherness. One thoughtful idea is to incorporate a Secret Santa gift exchange into a Celebration of Life ceremony. By sharing small, heartfelt gifts in your loved one’s honor, you can bring comfort, laughter, and connection to those gathered—just as your loved one might have done. It’s a beautiful way to keep the season’s light alive while cherishing shared memories and the enduring bonds of love.

How-To Suggestions:

One way you can soothe the ache when experiencing a loved ones’ absence is to spend time thinking about and recreating what it felt like to be in their presence. The act of gift-giving is as personal as it is selfless; by proposing a Secret Santa gift exchange done in honor of a loved one, you can recreate what that person might have gifted, or share with someone else a way that person might have made you feel special.

To host a Secret Santa gift exchange, start by gathering the names of everyone who wants to participate and set a spending limit to keep things fair. Write each name on a slip of paper (or use an online generator) and have everyone draw a name — this is the person they’ll secretly buy a gift for. Encourage participants to choose thoughtful, personal items rather than expensive ones. 

When it is time for the exchange, label the gifts only with the recipient’s name, and everyone takes turns opening theirs while guessing who their Secret Santa might be. It’s a fun, heartwarming way to share joy and connection.

Ideas for Ways a Secret Santa Exchange Can Honor a Loved One

• Propose that guests purchase or make gifts that the person being celebrated might have gifted if they were still around
• Exchange gifts or mementos that remind you of the person being celebrated; share those memories with each other as the gifts are opened.
• Instead of each person having a specific Secret Santa, guests could put a number on the gift, and people could be assigned numbers randomly to determine which gift they would open.
• Ask that each guest include a handwritten note with their gift, explaining why they chose that particular item and what it means to them to share it.
• Provide hot cocoa, tea, or seasonal drinks and baked goods to share and enjoy while opening gifts.