Memorial Service Planning & Logistics

At a minimum, most online memorial pages include a photo of the person who died and a biography or obituary. Since online memorial pages serve as a space for remembrance, you are not limited to only including these details. Other common components can include their interests or hobbies, causes and charities that were significant to them, important achievements, videos, or a family tree. The general aim is to include information that will effectively reflect the life and legacy of your loved one. 

Basic details such as your loved one’s date of birth and date of death, as well as their age at the time of death, can help provide context regarding the extent of their lifetime. Many online memorial pages feature a timeline within these ranges that helps to illustrate when milestones, major life events, or achievements occurred during a loved one’s life. If there is an upcoming memorial service or an organization where other people can donate to remember your loved one, this would also be pertinent information to include in a prominent section of the page. Depending on the platform’s functionality, you may also be able to use it to provide reminders for important dates such as your loved one’s birthday or the anniversary of their death. 

Some people also like including personal anecdotes from their loved ones, which can help reflect important perspectives or unforgettable personalities. Including anecdotes can inspire others to share their memories of your loved one when they visit the online memorial page. An online memorial page for your loved one can be as comprehensive or as brief as you prefer and often can be customized however you wish. Once finalized, this page will serve as a digital tribute to your loved one and remain a space for ongoing reflections and memories from those impacted by their presence.

Sources 

“5 tips for creating an online memorial”. Funeralocity. https://www.funeralocity.com/blog/5-tips-for-creating-an-online-memorial/ 

“How to hold a virtual memorial service, a step-by-step guide”. TalkDeath. https://talkdeath.com/how-to-hold-a-virtual-memorial-service-a-step-by-step-guide/ 

Yes, a memorial service may be held at home. Many individuals choose to honor and remember their loved ones in a home setting for various reasons. Some find that having the memorial service at home fosters closeness and comfort compared to more public or traditional venues. It may also provide a greater sense of privacy during the shared experience of mourning and grieving. 

Hosting a memorial service at home can provide more flexibility regarding how the service is conducted. Some individuals feel more comfortable personalizing the service to the fullest extent since they know it will only be seen and experienced by close family and friends of the person who died. Many memorial services conducted at private residences emphasize the use of personal photographs, favorite music, and other decor or activities that hold significance to the attendees and the family of the person who died. 

Since the setting is at home, some individuals feel more comfortable having an informal tone to the memorial service. This does not mean that the service is any less meaningful, but rather that attendees may be more welcome to come as they are. They may also feel more comfortable expressing their feelings in this setting than if they were attending a formal event at a public venue. Despite the possibility of an informal tone to the service, it is important to be respectful and mindful of the host’s residence while attending. 

Individuals considering holding a memorial service at home should consider the potential limitations and logical aspects of their decision. Depending on the size of the home, there may be space limitations that affect the total number of guests that can attend at one time. This can be accommodated by having different groups of attendees arrive gradually throughout the day of the service. Other logistical considerations include whether food and drinks will be provided, if specific arrangements need to be made to have enough seating, and if any special equipment is necessary.

Holding a memorial service at home can be a meaningful way to honor a loved one. The decision to share this moment of remembrance in such an intimate setting can further foster connection among everyone attending. Although there are many practical and logistical considerations to keep in mind, careful planning can result in a home memorial service that provides a poignant tribute to the life and legacy of a loved one. 

Sources 

“7 tips for planning a memorial service”. Funeral Basics. https://www.funeralbasics.org/memorial-services/ 

“What to expect at a memorial service held at home”. Legacy.com. https://www.legacy.com/advice/what-to-expect-at-a-memorial-service-held-at-home/

Hiring a funeral celebrant or similar professional can be very helpful in coordinating and managing the logistics of a memorial service. This can include arrangements for catering, booking the venue, organizing speakers and musicians, and many other services that contribute to a memorable experience. Hiring a professional can reduce the stress of planning a memorial service during an intensely emotional time and also ensure that family and close friends can fully focus on honoring their loved one instead of becoming overwhelmed with the details of the service. 

Individuals who have envisioned a memorial service with a personalized approach may find that working with a professional makes it easier to achieve these goals. Event planners, celebrants, and other professionals come prepared with a wide range of ideas and resources to ensure that memorial services and celebrations of life are as unique and meaningful as the loved ones that they are intended to represent. Their expertise ensures that coordinating services and making necessary arrangements is simple and straightforward throughout the planning process. 

Understandably, some families feel that the best way to achieve a deeply personal tone to the memorial service is to handle all of the arrangements themselves. In these instances, it may be more beneficial and comfortable for these individuals to work closely with family and friends throughout the planning and coordination process. Identifying what tasks need to be taken care of to achieve the ideal memorial service and then dividing those tasks among different family members and friends can make the process less overwhelming, although it may still be challenging to make arrangements during such emotionally charged circumstances. 

The decision to hire a professional to help plan and coordinate a memorial service can have a significant impact and should be considered for those who are concerned about the emotional impact of navigating these plans independently. It is important to weigh the advantages and disadvantages of using professional assistance, especially if it may conflict with personal preferences. In any case, the final decision should be supportive of the family’s vision and needs for sharing a memorable tribute for their loved one. 

Sources

“How to plan a meaningful memorial service”. AARP. https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2020/planning-memorial-service.html 

“How you can help a grieving person before the funeral or memorial service.” EverPlans.   https://www.everplans.com/articles/how-you-can-help-a-grieving-person-before-the-funeral-or-memorial-service 

A memorial service is generally more affordable than a traditional funeral service since it doesn’t require the body of the person who died to be present for viewing. However, the average cost of a memorial service tends to vary from state to state. Additionally, the costs can vary depending on the features of the service. Individuals who are working with a funeral home to handle the logistics of a memorial service will generally have access to transparent pricing, but may need to be mindful that optional features can increase the total cost of the services. 

The average cost of a memorial service with cremation in the United States is $6,078. However, many individuals opt to hold a memorial service independently without the assistance of a funeral home. This is often more affordable since the venue doesn’t have to be the funeral home premises, and almost every aspect of the service can be personalized at a more affordable price. Renting a venue for the service is generally the most expensive component and can typically cost at least $100 per hour, but these costs can also be avoided if the friends or family of the person who died are willing to host the service at their private residence. 

Services of clergy members or celebrants, facility charges, catering, printed materials, and transportation all contribute to the total cost of a memorial service. Sometimes, the costs for catering are included if the memorial service is being hosted at a funeral home or if an independent service is being held at a venue such as a restaurant or event hall. If attendees bring their own food to the service or the family prepares the food beforehand, these costs can be minimized. Printed materials can often come with a discounted price if they are ordered in bulk. Since a clergy member or a celebrant isn’t required for a memorial service, the cost of their services is usually optional and can be replaced by designating speakers among the attendees. 

Although the costs of holding a memorial service can be substantial, it is generally cheaper than holding a funeral. Families are encouraged to consider all options available carefully, compare prices among funeral homes in their area, and identify which service components can be handled independently. In doing so, they can create a meaningful service that will effectively honor their loved one while adhering to a general budget. 

Sources 

“How much does cremation cost?” Lincoln Heritage Funeral Advantage. https://www.lhlic.com/consumer-resources/cremation-costs/ 

“Unique memorial service ideas to commemorate your loved ones”. Trust & Will. https://trustandwill.com/learn/memorial-service-ideas 

There are many opportunities for friends and family members to be involved in the memorial service of your loved one. One of the most common ways to get them involved is to ask them to share their memories and stories about the person who died. You can designate a specific time during the service for individuals to share their experiences. Those who participate can either be pre-selected speakers or anyone in attendance who would like to speak about their loved one. 

Another common way to involve friends and family members is through the activities that have been selected for the memorial service. For example, some individuals prefer to have readings of poems, sacred texts, or other significant passages shared throughout the service. You could invite specific friends or family members to read a passage before passing it along to the next participant. Music is frequently included throughout a memorial service, so if there are any friends or family members who are willing to play favorite songs that were significant to your loved one or perform a preferred song, this is an excellent way to get them involved. 

If you are interested in a creative activity for the memorial service, you might consider inviting everyone to help create a memorial display. You can encourage friends and family members to contribute photographs, written reflections, and other small keepsakes that are symbolic of their relationship with your loved one. These items can be gradually added to a table, board, or other designated area where they will be displayed throughout the memorial service. This activity often has a powerful visual impact on attendees as symbolic items continue to accumulate during the service.

Proactively involving friends and family in the memorial service helps provide a more personalized tribute to your loved one while also creating larger opportunities for collective grieving and healing. Encouraging active participation in activities throughout the service further facilitates a supportive environment in remembrance of the positive impact that your loved one had in the lives of each participant. Ultimately, this approach helps attendees feel a greater sense of connection through their shared experiences with your loved one. 

Sources

“How to include the participation of family and friends in the funeral or memorial service”. EverPlans. https://www.everplans.com/articles/how-to-include-the-participation-of-family-and-friends-in-the-funeral-or-memorial-service 

“How to plan a meaningful memorial service”. AARP. https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2020/planning-memorial-service.html 

The decision of who to invite to a memorial service largely depends on the wishes of the person who died and their surviving family members. Some individuals prefer to have an intimate gathering that only includes those who had close relationships with the person who died. Others prefer to have a larger gathering that includes a wider social circle. One option is not more appropriate than the other, and ultimately, the decision is a matter of preference. Potential individuals to invite to a memorial service can include: 

• Family 
• Friends
• Acquaintances
• Colleagues 
• Coworkers 

Some memorial services extend invitations to community members and neighbors, even if they have only had brief interactions with the person who died. Due to the popularity of social media, a common approach is to share a general invitation on a platform such as Facebook, Instagram, or a similar social media platform. This approach typically implies that anyone who is interested in attending the memorial service will be welcome to join. While it can simplify deciding who to invite to the service, it also significantly limits the amount of control the family has regarding potential attendees. 

If the person who died had relationships with individuals that you dislike, it is generally advisable not to allow personal feelings to influence the decision of whether to invite them. Instead, it is better to proceed with the invitation and allow them to have the opportunity to pay their respects. The primary goal of the memorial service is to honor and remember the person who died, so your most important goal should be extending invitations to those who truly value the experience of sharing memories and supporting the legacy of their loved one. 

Sources

“How to invite people to a funeral”. Farewill. https://farewill.com/articles/how-to-invite-people-to-a-funeral#keeping-track-of-whos-coming 

“How to invite people to a funeral.” Hollywood Forever. https://hollywoodforever.com/resources/how-to-invite-people-to-a-funeral

There is a wide variety of suitable venues for holding a memorial service, ranging from traditional to unique locations. Traditional options are often favored due to providing more space for guests and maintaining a familiar ambiance. Some of the most common traditional venues for memorial services include: 

• Graveyard or cemetery
• Place of faith 
• Garden
• Park 
• Event hall 
• Restaurant 
• Private residence 

The graveyard or cemetery is a traditional option that is often selected due to the convenience of the venue, particularly when the family wants to hold a memorial service directly after the funeral or burial. While it can be a more cost-effective venue for a memorial service, it is typically more formal and often adds a somber tone to the service. A place of faith, such as a church or temple, is similar in terms of convenience and ease of accessibility to a venue. Depending on the requirements of the venue, the memorial service may be held inside or outside. Memorial services held at places of faith tend to maintain a tone of solace. 

Locations such as a garden or park are affordable traditional venues, although it is important to be mindful that some of these public locations may require permits for conducting an event such as a memorial service. Parks and gardens provide a serene space for a memorial service and are typically large enough to accommodate large gatherings. Due to the direct exposure to nature, they can be an ideal venue for creating a peaceful and comforting ambiance. Parks and gardens are typically an informal traditional setting compared to a graveyard or place of faith. 

Options such as a restaurant or event hall for a memorial service can be as formal or informal as intended by the host. Restaurants are typically suitable for smaller gatherings, whereas event halls are intended for larger groups. These venues can be more upbeat or lively in comparison to other traditional options, so they may be a good choice for those who want to celebrate the life of the person who died. If a restaurant is selected, it’s important to request permission to hold the event there prior to making any further arrangements. 

A private residence, such as the home of a surviving family member or close friend, is another affordable option. Most households only have enough space to host a small gathering, which may be ideal for more intimate memorial services with relatives and close friends. Larger groups of people can attend a memorial service at a household by requesting smaller groups to arrive during different periods of the day.

When it comes to unique venues for a memorial service, the possibilities are often limitless. Most individuals try to select a location that is connected to a memory or an interest of their loved one. Some examples of unique venues for a memorial service include: 

• Movie theater
• Sports stadium
• Boat 
• Observatory 
• Zoo
• Brewery
• Museum 
• Bowling alley

Prior to making any arrangements at a venue, it is highly recommended to contact the venue directly to request a quote for renting the space. Depending on the preferred venue, it is also advisable to conduct some general research regarding potential costs and if there are any specific amenities or features that make one venue more attractive than another. Ultimately, whether seeking to hold a celebration of life or a memorial service, there is a suitable space for honoring everyone’s legacy.

Sources

“11 Memorable Funeral Venues”. Ever Loved. https://everloved.com/articles/funeral-planning/memorable-funeral-venues/ 

Most individuals hold a memorial service shortly after the death, such as within a few days or a week. However, it is not uncommon for memorial services to be held several weeks or months after the death of a loved one has occurred. Memorial services occur after the person who died has been cremated or buried, so scheduling the service itself is not dependent on the presence of the body and is typically a personal decision made by the family. For example, a memorial service may be held on the anniversary of a death rather than directly after the death.

There are many factors that can influence when a memorial service is held. If the goal is to hold the service in a location that was meaningful to the person who died, the availability of that location for an event and arrangements to travel there can influence when the memorial will be held. Sometimes the general timing of the memorial service may depend on specific religious or cultural traditions. Similarly, if the family is planning a large service, additional time may be required to allow everyone to make arrangements to attend. Finances may also be a key factor since they can influence the features and amenities that are available during the service. 

Deciding when to hold a memorial service is a deeply personal choice, shaped by what brings the most solace to the grieving family and loved ones involved. The timing is often guided by the desire to allow all who want to honor their loved one to attend, placing communication with family and friends at the forefront. Ultimately, the goal is to create a memorable service that truly captures the essence and significance of the loved one being commemorated and provides attendees with a space to share their memories and their grief. 

Sources

“Memorial Service Etiquette”. EverPlans. https://www.everplans.com/articles/memorial-service-etiquette 

Attitudes and perceptions around memorializing our dead are evolving rapidly. As a result, you can design almost any type of celebration or ritual you like to honor a person who has died. Your memorial service can be held indoors or outdoors, be formal or casual, include 200 people or just a few. You can create a formal program with a celebrant that includes poetry readings, live music, and a lovely meal. Or you can have a picnic on the beach followed by a huge bonfire, toasted marshmallows, and s’mores. There is no right or wrong way to memorialize a loved one, any more than there’s a right or wrong way to grieve. 

With that being said, there are some important questions you need to ask yourself as you plan a funeral service or celebration of life, whether for yourself or for someone you love. A truly personalized service should reflect you or your loved one’s values and beliefs as well as the things that were most meaningful to them. Actress Carrie Fisher, for example, struggled with addiction and bipolar disorder and was an advocate and role model for those touched by mental illness. After her death, her family designed an urn shaped like a giant Prozac pill to honor her life in a truly unique way.  

As you think about how to memorialize a loved one, ask yourself these questions, which will help you to focus on the qualities that made them unique. (You can ask the same questions about yourself if you are planning your own memorial service or DeParty, too)

• What qualities did my loved one value most? (e.g., honesty, intelligence, kindness, a sense of humor)
• What were their spiritual beliefs?
• What cultural traditions were important to them? 
• What accomplishments were they most proud of? 
• What adversity had they overcome?
• Who were the most important people in their lives? 
• Who were their role models? 
• What causes were most important to them?
• What characteristics most defined who they were? When you think about them, what immediately comes to mind?
• What did they love to do? 

As you reflect on the answers to these questions, you should develop some clarity around the kind of service you or the person you are celebrating would like. You can then sit down with your family and/or a celebrant and plan something truly personal and unique. For some specific ideas, read our Comprehensive Step-by-Step Planning Guide: Planning a Memorial Event, and grab a free copy of our ebook, “7 Ways to Create an Amazing Celebration of Life Everyone Will Love. 

Sources 

“What is Spirituality?” University of Minnesota. https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/what-spirituality 

Yes, technological advances now make it possible to conduct a virtual memorial service that can include participants worldwide. Virtual memorial services are most commonly implemented through video conferencing platforms such as Zoom, Google Meet, or Microsoft Teams. These technologies enable people to connect to the service in real-time with audio and video feeds. 

Virtual memorial services offer many advantages as an alternative to traditional memorial services held in person. The flexibility of a virtual memorial service allows attendees to join from anywhere with minimal planning, as long as they have access to the internet, which can allow more people to attend. Sometimes, a virtual memorial service may feature more speakers than the typical memorial service conducted in person, although this can vary based on the availability of the attendees. 

A virtual memorial service may be implemented with assistance from a funeral home or conducted independently by someone designated as a host. Many funeral homes are willing to conduct hybrid memorial services, which means that the event is open to in-person attendees at the physical location as well as virtual attendees using video conferencing. Working with a funeral home to facilitate the virtual service is generally recommended for those concerned about managing the logistics of using a virtual platform, but it is not required. 

Individuals interested in conducting a virtual memorial service independently can register with a video conferencing provider such as Zoom. When registering, it is crucial to sign up for the subscription or plan that removes any restrictions affecting the number of attendees or the total duration of the event. As a general best practice, those who are planning to conduct a virtual memorial service should allocate some time to familiarize themselves with the platform, testing their Wi-Fi or mobile data signal strength for streaming the video, and conducting one to two practice sessions to ensure everything is functioning correctly prior to the event. 

Additional technology can be implemented to enhance the experience further. Some video conferencing platforms include real-time translation services to ensure all participants understand what is being communicated. Video and photo montages or other digital tributes can be displayed to attendees using screen-sharing technology on the video conferencing platform. Finally, links to online memorial pages can also be shared via chat, allowing participants to share their memories of the person who died if they are uncomfortable speaking during the service. 

Sources 

“How to hold a virtual memorial service”. New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/14/well/family/virtual-funeral-advice.html 

“Memorials in the digital age”. Mass Mutual. https://blog.massmutual.com/planning/memorials-digital-age