What Can I Bring to a Memorial Service as a Gift?

While bringing a gift to a memorial service is not required, it can be a considerate gesture to express condolences and support the bereaved family. Gifts usually are not expected, but it is proper etiquette to bring a gift to the memorial service if you have the ability and resources to do so. Expensive or large gifts are typically inappropriate for a memorial service; they should instead be gifted directly to the family privately. Potential gifts that are appropriate for a memorial service can include: 

• Sympathy Card 
• Bunch of Flowers or Arrangement of Flowers (Contemporary Flowers vs Somber Ones of the Past)
• Memorial Wreath (Contemporary Flowers vs Somber Ones of the Past)
• Photos in a Card or Photos Framed
• Photo Album
• Handmade Keepsake 
• Keepsake Box
• Homemade Food or Store-Bought Food
• Record of a Donation
• Book on Grieving
• Garden Plant (Forget Me Nots, Love Lies Bleeding, Bleeding Hearts, a favorite flower or color, etc)
• Tree Seedling
• Flower Seeds (Forget Me Nots, Love Lies Bleeding, Bleeding Hearts, favorite flower or color, etc)
• Memorial Jewelry
• Comforting Blanket 
• Mug with Specialty Coffee or Tea
• Candle
• Gift with the Name of the Person Honored (Pillow, Holiday Ornament, Garden Stone, Etc.)
• Spa Gift Card
• Windchime
• Religious or Spiritual Item
• Cultural Item 
• Handwritten Letter Expressing the Memories of That Person
  

Sometimes families may request a donation to a specific cause or foundation in memory of the person who died. If you choose to make a donation, you can inform the family by mentioning it briefly in a sympathy card. A sympathy card is often one of the most common gifts that is given at a memorial service and should include your condolences along with any words of encouragement or even a brief memory of their loved one.

Flowers are another popular gift for memorial services, although it is important to be mindful when deciding whether to purchase them. Some individuals prefer not to have large displays of flowers. This may be due to a cultural or religious practice or simply their personal preference. Additionally, they may have already received flowers from other individuals during the funeral or viewing if it was conducted. Floral tributes are best sent ahead of a service. Consider using contemporary modern-day flower types to better reflect the celebration of a life in today’s world. A florist can offer floral suggestions. 

It is suitable to give food if it is requested by the family. However, if it has not been requested and you’re unsure if they will have a designated area to properly store the food to prevent it from perishing, it would be better to opt for a different gift. If giving food, you also need to be mindful of dietary restrictions and allergies. If you are uncertain whether bringing food would be appropriate, you can privately ask the family if they would prefer to have a meal dropped off at their home, or you can provide them with a gift card for a meal with the sympathy card. 

Photos are often a cherished gift, especially since families don’t always get to see the photos that other individuals have taken of their loved ones. Photos can be gifted in a variety of formats, such as a photo book, a keepsake item, or even a portrait on a wrapped canvas. Making a collage is another appropriate option for sharing photos at a memorial service.

Even if the family is not expecting a gift, including one with your attendance at the memorial service can be an excellent way to show that you care. Remember to consider the cultural and religious background of the family since this can often influence whether certain gifts are appropriate. Ultimately, however, as long as you select a gift that demonstrates your compassion for the family and remains authentic to the memory of the individual being honored at the service, you are certain to leave a lasting impression. 

Sources

“Should I Bring a Gift to a Funeral? Memorial Gift Etiquette Explained”. All Gifts Considered. https://allgiftsconsidered.com/bring-gift-funeral-memorial-gift-etiquette-explained/ 

“What to Bring to a Funeral or Memorial Service”. EverLoved. https://everloved.com/articles/funeral-etiquette/what-bring-funeral-or-memorial-service/ 

“What to Bring to a Funeral or Celebration of Life?” Eternally Loved. https://eternallyloved.com/blog/what-to-bring-to-a-funeral-or-celebration-of-life/