Funeral Planning & Logistics

Yes, anyone can have a home funeral. They are legal in every state in the U.S. While home funerals usually follow an expected death that occurs in the person’s home, it’s possible to hold a home funeral if a person dies in a hospital or nursing home. A home funeral can even be arranged if the person died in an accident or by uncertain or violent means. There will be hurdles to overcome, such as waiting until the coroner or medical examiner releases the body. But if a home funeral is truly your wish, it can always be arranged.

In the event a person dies at home, the family usually cares for the body after death. They wash and dress the person who has died, and apply cooling measures to slow the process of decomposition. Although the process is fairly straightforward, it will involve a certain amount of planning. For instance, you will need to have a few people available who can help turn and move the body, and — depending on the weather — you may need to order dry ice or cooling packs to have on hand after the death.

If the person died in a hospital or nursing home, the next of kin will need to work with the staff to have the person’s body released into their care. Keep in mind that the next of kin or a designated agent always has the authority to take custody of the body, regardless of what staff may say. With that being said, a healthcare facility may require a signed death certificate before it releases the body, which can take some time. To ensure a seamless process, it’s a good idea to make arrangements with a supervisor or administrator in advance. 

Lastly,if you want to hold a home funeral for a loved one or you are planning a home funeral for yourself, be sure to familiarize yourself with your state and local laws. While no states prohibit home funerals, there may be laws in effect that restrict certain activities to licensed professionals or dictate how soon after death the person’s body must be buried or cremated. To learn more, see our section on Home Funerals and Natural Death Care. You may also want to visit the Home Funeral Alliance website for more advice. 

Sources

Home Funeral Alliance. https://www.homefuneralalliance.org/ 

First, understand that your confusion about the many new terms that have arisen around end-of-life care is not unusual. According to the Home Funeral Alliance, there are over a dozen different terms currently in use to describe professionals who care for people and families at the end of life and after death. The terminology is still evolving today. 

With that being said, the terms that are most commonly used by most people in the deathcare industry today are:

• End of Life Doula: A person who accompanies a dying person and/or their family through a “personal, intentional and conscious dying process to  achieve a conscious death.” Similar terms include: Death Doula, Death Midwife and Conscious Dying Guide.
• Home Funeral Guide: A person who educates families about caring for their dead, including consulting with them and guiding them through after-death care and final disposition.  Similar terms include Home Funeral Educator, Death Midwife and Family Funeral Guide 
• Celebrant: A person who works with a dying person and/or their family to design a customized ceremony for a funeral, memorial service or celebration of life. Similar terms include officiant, clergy and ceremonialist. 
• Funeral director: Usually (but not always)  the owner of a funeral home, a funeral director handles the logistics of final disposition, including filing the death certificate, arranging transportation of the body and preparing the body for viewing (if the family so desires). A funeral director may also arrange a viewing or visitation, graveside service, or cremation depending on the family’s needs. Additionally, licensed funeral directors and embalmers perform embalming, which other death care professionals cannot do. Increasingly, funeral directors are also becoming celebrants and end-of-life doulas, providing families with even more options and continuity of care when they use the services of a funeral professional.

Interestingly, some funeral directors have challenged the legitimacy of the aforementioned professionals, whose role it is to help guide people through a peaceful end of life. In California, for example, the California Cemetery and Funeral Bureau issued a ruling in 2019 stating that two death doulas in Northern California, Akhila Murphy and Donna Peizer, were advertising and acting as a funeral establishment without a license. The ruling required the two women, who run the small nonprofit Full Circle Living and Dying Collective, to become licensed funeral directors and build a funeral home or face fines and prosecution. In response, the two doulas filed a lawsuit against CCFB in federal court alleging that the threatened action violated their constitutional rights to free speech and substantive due process. Full Circle was granted a temporary injunction in December 2020 and the case was decided in their favor in January 2023. This was a landmark decision that granted additional legitimacy to the profession and will allow the plaintiffs and others who follow them to continue to assist families during this very stressful time in their lives. 

Sources

Home Funeral Alliance. https://www.homefuneralalliance.org/ 

California Cemetery and Funeral Bureau. https://www.cfb.ca.gov/ 

Full Circle Living and Dying Collective. http://www.fullcirclelivingdyingcollective.com/ 

It’s not necessary to hire a professional to write the obituary for a loved one, though if you or others close to the person who died don’t feel comfortable writing, you certainly can. There are a few elements traditionally included in obituaries, and once you gather some information, the process is relatively straightforward. And of course, it’s also possible for you to write your own obituary if you like.

Typically, an obituary includes the following information:

• Full name of the person who died
• Age at the time of death
• Date and place of birth
• Date and place of death
• Cause of death (optional)
• Names of immediate family members, such as spouse, children, parents and siblings, noting if they preceded your loved one in death or are surviving
• If applicable: Time and location of a memorial service, and requests for charitable donations or other memorial gestures

To make the piece more personalized and distinctive, you can include a brief biography or life story of your loved one that highlights significant achievements, hobbies or interests, or even some favorite memories.

If you prefer to have someone else handle writing the obituary, if you’re having a funeral the funeral director is often able to help or you can search online for a writer who specializes in the practice. Some obituary websites even offer an AI tool that will help you write a draft of an obituary that can then be further edited and personalized.

Sources

“How to write an obituary”. Grammarly. https://www.grammarly.com/blog/obituary/ 

“Who should write the obituary?” Better Place Forests. https://www.betterplaceforests.com/blog/end-of-life-planning/who-should-write-the-obituary/ 

Creating an online obituary tends to be a less expensive option than printing one in a newspaper, with fees ranging from no cost to over $100. Many funeral homes have a website where those utilizing their funeral services can publish a free obituary online. Independent websites such as EverLoved.com or Memoria.co offer free packages for an obituary or memorial page. An online obituary can typically be as long as you like, and include as many photos as you like, for the same set cost. Legacy.com provides the option to publish an obituary in the printed newspaper of your choice, according to individual publication rates, as well as create an online memorial page. 

The cost of printing an obituary in a newspaper varies widely, ranging from about $80 to over $1,000, depending on the size and circulation of the paper. Larger newspapers or those with broader audiences are often more expensive, while local or smaller community newspapers are usually less. Printed obituaries are also usually charged by the word or by the column inch, so the longer the obituary, the higher the cost. This is also true if you include photos or special formatting. Running the obituary for multiple days or in a Sunday edition is also typically higher cost. Any newspaper that runs a printed obituary will typically include it in their online edition for no added cost. Another option is to print a very short notice in the paper and link it to the full obituary on the funeral home website or obituary platform. For the most accurate information, it’s best to contact the specific newspaper where you plan to place the obituary.

If you need help composing one, please check out our guidelines for writing an obituary.

Sources

“How much does a newspaper or online obituary cost?” Titan Caskets. https://titancasket.com/blogs/funeral-guides-and-more/how-much-does-a-newspaper-or-online-obituary-cost 

“Publish a free online obituary”. Ever Loved. https://everloved.com/obituaries/ 

“Create and publish a free obituary online.” Memoria. https://memoria.co/obituaries 

“Legacy’s Obituary Writer”. Legacy. https://www.legacy.com/place-an-obituary-anywhere-2 

“How much does it cost to publish an obituary?” Trustworthy. https://www.trustworthy.com/blog/how-much-does-obituary-cost 

Assuming that the body of the person who has died is preserved and stored appropriately, it is possible to wait an average of two weeks and even up to four weeks after the date of death to have a funeral. As time progresses, the body will become less suitable for an open-casket funeral, so the service should be held as soon as circumstances permit. If the body of the person who died has been cremated,  the length of time spent waiting until the funeral may be longer due to a lack of concern surrounding decomposition. 

Most funeral homes typically require that a funeral be held within 30 days. This length of time accommodates most of the reasons why families request a delay, including cultural practices that can require a wait of a day or a week after someone dies to ensure that specific rituals and guidelines can be followed prior to burial. Delays can also occur for medical or legal reasons, such as when there’s a need to conduct further investigation into a death, perform an autopsy, or proceed with organ donation arrangements. Logistical delays are also prevalent since there may be factors outside of anyone’s control that prevent the funeral from being held. The family of the person who died may also request to wait until other loved ones are able to travel to attend the funeral. 

While it is preferable to hold a funeral promptly, the timing can be a personal choice, and it’s not uncommon for funerals to be delayed. It is crucial to be considerate of religious or cultural practices and your family’s comfort when determining the appropriate time. Although there are typically no strict time limits for holding a funeral, it is important to maintain open communication with the funeral home regarding any potential time constraints. Transparency is key if additional flexibility is needed.

Sources 

“How long after someone dies is the funeral held?” Love to Know. https://www.lovetoknow.com/life/grief-loss/how-long-until-funeral-after-someone-dies 

“How long to wait before arranging funeral service”. Neptune Society. https://www.neptunesociety.com/about-cremation/how-long-to-wait-before-arranging-funeral-service

Buying a burial plot is a simple process that typically begins with researching local cemeteries to find an option that fits your personal preferences and needs. Criteria that you may want to consider when researching potential cemeteries include their location, privacy level, religious affiliation, and pricing. If green or eco-friendly burial practices are important to you, you may also inquire about the practices used at each cemetery location. 

There should be full transparency regarding the cost of the plot and any additional fees that may be included. How much a burial plot will cost will depend on the size and type of the plot. Pricing also varies from state to state, and you can generally expect that there will be additional fees associated with the burial. Comparing prices at each cemetery will help you make an informed decision and stay within your budget.

When you have identified a cemetery that aligns with your preferences, contact their office to ask for more information about available burial plots. In general, there are usually a few different options you can consider when purchasing a burial plot. What is available at each cemetery will vary, but common options burial plot options include: 

• A single burial plot
• Companion plot for two people 
• Family burial pilot 
• Plots for cremation urns

After discussing the potential options with the cemetery office, visit the location in person to look at the available plots. Factors that you might consider when assessing the plots can include certain features like proximity to a loved one’s grave, the view and surroundings, or if the plot is located in a specifically designated section based on religion, culture, etc. Once you have reviewed the plots and determined which one aligns with your preferences, it’s time to review the requirements for purchasing a plot with the cemetery.

In most instances, you will be provided with paperwork or a contract that needs to be completed and signed to purchase the plot. These documents should be reviewed carefully, and you are encouraged to ask questions if any of the details are unclear. It is crucial to understand the terms and conditions that you are agreeing to before finalizing your purchase. Important considerations that you may want to have included in the agreement include whether you can transfer the funds you’ve paid for the plot to another cemetery if you move to another state, or whether you have to offer the burial plot for repurchase to the cemetery prior to attempting to sell it to someone else. 

Many people find it helpful to consult with family members or loved ones to help with decision-making before finalizing the purchase of their plot. If you need additional support with buying a burial plot, working closely with a funeral director can also be helpful. They can provide general guidance and information that will make it easier for you to navigate purchasing a burial plot for the first time. 

Sources

“A guide to purchasing a cemetery plot.” Everlasting Memories.

https://www.evrmemories.com/a-guide-to-purchasing-a-cemetery-plot

Memorial Planning. https://www.memorialplanning.com

Due to the vast extent to which funeral homes serve communities, they must have emergency response plans and procedures for various scenarios, including natural disasters. OSHA requires all funeral homes to have emergency action plans. These plans outline the necessary steps to maintain services, preserve human remains, and provide safety for clients and staff. 

A core component of emergency preparedness among funeral homes involves securing resources and establishing backup systems. Since natural disasters such as hurricanes and earthquakes can cause power outages, most funeral homes need generators to maintain refrigeration units and other important equipment. If their facilities are completely compromised, some funeral homes partner with other service providers to maintain continuity of care for their clients. They may also utilize temporary mortuary structures or mobile mortuary units to maintain storage and care. Additionally, they typically maintain an inventory of enough supplies to last for a few months at minimum to ensure that they have enough resources to care for people who have died.

Since natural disasters can contribute to an increase in the death rate, funeral homes must also be prepared to address deaths as quickly as possible. They must maintain protocols and procedures that can be rapidly scaled to match the demand. In these circumstances, communication is essential since they need to coordinate with local authorities and emergency services and keep families updated regarding the potential wait time associated with requested services and arrangements. 

Emergency preparedness is ultimately a vital aspect to maintaining funeral home operations. Planning ahead, acquiring enough resources to last for extended lengths of time, forming partnerships with other service providers, and having alternative spaces available to continue work are essential in maintaining timely and dignified death care services in an emergency. Although preparation is often extensive, it ensures that loved ones continue to be handled with care and respect and provides consistent support to families during vulnerable and uncertain times. 

Sources 

“Be prepared. Be ready. Disaster planning and emergency management.” Cremation Association of North America.   https://www.cremationassociation.org/blog/be-prepared-be-ready-disaster-planning-and-emergency-management 

“Funeral home emergency action plans.” National Funeral Directors Association. https://nfda.org/resources/operations-management/disaster-planning/funeral-home-emergency-action-plans 

“Mortuary operations following mass fatality natural disasters: a review.” Springer Link. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12024-016-9836-3 

The average headstone costs between $1000 and $3000, including necessary fees. Headstones with more elaborate styles and detailing are generally more expensive. Headstone cost varies significantly based on several factors, such as: 

• Material 
• Size 
• Weight 
• Texture 
• Engraving
• Finish 
• Accessories 

In addition to these factors, the total price is also influenced by multiple fees. This includes shipping and delivery, installation, and the cemetery permit fee. While the shipping, delivery, and cemetery permit fees typically vary based on location, the installation fee often ranges from $100 to $500. It should also be noted that some cemeteries include an additional charge for certain types of monuments, such as headstone benches. 

You can also expect to pay for long-term maintenance, especially after several years have passed. Headstone cleaning is recommended every 7 to 10 years and can cost up to $170 for a professional headstone cleaning service. Restoration services may also be necessary depending on the headstone’s exposure to weather conditions and other elements. Headstone restoration may include detailing the engraving, restoring the stone’s surface, and resurfacing or reinstalling the foundation. The cost associated with restoration services varies on a case-by-case basis depending on the level of restoration required.

Sources

“How much do headstones cost?” Empathy. https://www.empathy.com/funeral/how-much-do-headstones-cost 

“Simple guide to headstone prices and costs.” Love to Know. https://www.lovetoknow.com/life/grief-loss/simple-guide-headstone-prices-costs 

It’s certainly possible to have a funeral for your dog or cat and any other pet, and the practice is becoming increasingly popular as animals enjoy a more and more significant role in human lives. Pet funeral services allow owners to say goodbye, remember happy memories shared and can even help with healing and moving through grief.

Burying or cremating your pet

When it comes to planning a pet funeral, deciding what you will do with their body is a good first step. There are pet cemeteries with burial plots where you can lay your pet to rest, while some human cemeteries allow pets to be buried alongside their owners. If you’d like to bury your pet at home it’s generally legal to do so in your backyard, or any private property with permission of the owner, though it’s prudent to confirm with homeowners associations or local authorities. Renters should check with their landlord and potentially local authorities. To ensure the grave site is free of underground lines, call 811 several days before digging and your local utilities company will help mark any buried utilities.

You can also opt for cremation, available at many animal hospitals or your local Humane Society, which provides the option for you to keep your pet’s ashes or scatter them in a special location. If you want to scatter in a public place like a park, it’s a good idea to check with your local parks department. If you choose cremation, you may be asked if you would like your pet to be cremated alone (which can be more expensive) or with other pets. Choosing the former will ensure you receive only the remains of your pet.

Having a memorial service for your dog or cat (or other)

Whether you’re burying your pet in a cemetery or at home, or scattering ashes, you can have a memorial service just as for a human. You can invite others who were close with your pet such as dog walkers, friends from the dog park, and your own friends and family. People can share stories and memories and/or you can have a moment of silence in remembrance. There are no set rules and you can make it as simple or elaborate as you wish.

Creating a memorial site for your pet

It can be healing to have an outdoor memorial area with a marker or stone, which you can embellish with plants or flowers. You can also set up an indoor memorial area — many places that provide pet cremation offer personalized memorial items such as urns or paw prints. You can surround the area with favorite toys, photographs and keepsakes.

Honoring your pet in any way that feels comforting to you can help you keep them in your heart while aiding in the grief process.

Sources 

“How to have a funeral for your dog or cat”. Animal Wellness Magazine. https://animalwellnessmagazine.com/how-to-have-a-funeral-for-your-dog-or-cat/ 

“Planning a Pet Funeral”. Perfect Memorials. https://perfectmemorials.com/guides/planning-a-pet-funeral 

Call 811. https://call811.com/ 

“End of Life Services”. Humane Society. https://www.animalhumanesociety.org/resource/end-life-services