21 Funny Quotes on Final Exit Strategies: One-Way Tickets and Permanent GhostingDark, Witty, and Irreverent Musings on Mortality, Funerals, and the Ultimate Departure
Death may be one of life’s great inevitabilities, but that doesn’t mean we always have to talk about it in hushed tones. These funny and irreverent quotes about dying prove that sometimes the best way to face the inevitable is with a good laugh. If we can’t escape our fate, we might as well have…

Death may be one of life’s great inevitabilities, but that doesn’t mean we always have to talk about it in hushed tones. These funny and irreverent quotes about dying prove that sometimes the best way to face the inevitable is with a good laugh. If we can’t escape our fate, we might as well have a sense of humor about it!
1. “Never trust the living.”
— Beetlejuice
2. “The living are just the dead on holiday.”
— Maurice Maeterlinck
3. “If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”
— George Bernard Shaw

4. “I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
— Mark Twain
5. “Old people at weddings always poke me and say, ‘You’re next!’ So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.”
— Coolio
6. “I do not fear death. I resent it… Death is impatient and thoughtless. It barges into your room when you are right in the middle of something, and it doesn’t bother to wipe its boots.”
— Tom Robbins

7. “Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.”
— Morticia Addams
8. “I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.”
— Gomez Addams
9. “When I die, will someone please go to my funeral dressed like the Grim Reaper?”
— Anonymous

10. “When we’re together, every night is Halloween.”
— Morticia Addams
11. “I’m not dead tired, just mostly deceased.”
—Anonymous
12. “My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill, he gave me six months more.”
— Henny Youngman

13. “Death is nature’s way of saying, ‘Your table is ready.’”
— Robin Williams
14. “I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that I’m listening to it.”
— George Carlin
15. “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
— Steven Wright

16. “The novelty of a diagnosis of malignant cancer has a tendency to wear off.”
— Christopher Hitchens
17.“There is no Stage 5.”
— Christopher Hitchens
18. “I can’t think of a more wonderful thanksgiving for the life I’ve had than that everyone should be jolly at my funeral.”
— Lord Mountbatten

19. Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.”
— W. Somerset Maugham
20. “I have more than once in my time woken up feeling like death.”
— Christopher Hitchens
21. “In whatever kind of a ‘race’ life may be, I have very abruptly become a finalist.”
— Christopher Hitchens
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Sometimes humor gives us permission to talk about death without so much fear. A little laughter can make even life’s heaviest subject feel more approachable.





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