What Is a Memorial Service or Celebration of Life?
July 9th, 2025
A memorial service or celebration of life is a gathering to honor and remember someone who has died. Unlike a funeral, which traditionally takes place shortly after a person’s death, a memorial service can be held weeks or even months later, and can be personalized in many different ways. Although a memorial service is certainly a time to mourn and remember a loved one who has died, the focus is typically on celebrating the life of the person through stories, photos, and memories shared by family and friends. Further, most memorial services today are planned and organized by friends, family, and loved ones rather than by a funeral director or funeral home.
Jump ahead to these answers:
The History of Memorial Services
The idea of a memorial service arranged by the loved ones of a person who died is a fairly modern concept. As recently as the early 1970s, North American funerals were the purview of funeral directors and funeral homes, who handled all of the arrangements, from preparing the body for viewing to transporting it for burial. When a person died, whether in the home or in a hospital, the next of kin would contact a mortuary, and a technician would appear to whisk the body away. Then, out of sight of family and friends, a funeral director would embalm the body and prepare it for viewing, if the family so desired. Soon after, loved ones would gather at the funeral home to say their last goodbyes, and a service conducted by the funeral director or a celebrant chosen by the person’s loved ones would take place. The funeral home would then transport the body to a cemetery for burial. Most families also held a graveside service — a somber, tear-filled affair — then returned home to grieve.
But all of that began to change around the latter part of the 20th century, when public interest in cremation, which had been virtually unheard of in North America in prior years, began to rise. According to data from the Cremation Association of North America, cremation rates were about 5% in 1972, having slowly risen to that level over the previous 100 years. Then, fueled by a more mobile society that enjoyed greater exposure to other cultures and traditions, a general relaxation of social and religious taboos, and a growing aversion to the steadily rising cost of burial, the number of people who chose cremation as a means of final disposition began to grow. By 2010, the North American cremation rate was 40%, and by 2019 it had risen to over 55%. And that trend shows no sign of slowing down.
Families Begin to Take Back Control of Their Dead
Alongside the steady rise in cremation rates, funeral consumers began to express a greater interest in reclaiming control of their dead. No longer reliant on funeral homes for every stage of the death-care process, they started to question ideas that they had accepted unconditionally just a few years before — perhaps most notably, the necessity of embalming and the need to have a funeral service immediately after a death. They also began to rethink the wisdom of investing thousands of dollars in goods and services that funeral homes routinely sell. Cremation gave consumers freedom — not just from skyrocketing prices but from what many had begun to view as the gaudy excesses of an outdated funeral industry.
It was against this backdrop that many American families also began to think more creatively about how and when to memorialize someone who had died. No longer tied to a graveside ceremony, which of necessity was held soon after a death, many who had chosen cremation for their loved ones began to hold memorial services weeks or even months later, when the pain of the loss had begun to subside. This, in turn, led to a slow but important paradigm shift as Americans turned away from the idea of a dark, somber funeral towards more personalized, meaningful celebrations of life.
A Modern Approach to Memorials
Today, North Americans have not only wholeheartedly embraced the new tradition of cremation, but they have also begun to explore new (and not-so-new) ways of disposing of the dead. In 2019, the state of Washington legalized the process of natural organic reduction of human bodies (composting for short), and Colorado made the process legal in 2021. Alkaline hydrolysis –– a process that dissolves bodies in a solution of water and sodium hydroxide, is now legal in 18 states, and natural” or green burial is also gaining popularity. Family-directed or home funerals, in which loved ones care for the body after death and hold a funeral in the home (as was the norm not too long ago), are also becoming more widely accepted as people seek out more personalized and meaningful ways to say goodbye to those they love.
All of these new options signify an emerging, albeit still hesitant, willingness to look at death and dying as a natural part of life and a desire to care for our dead in a more personal way. Thus, it’s unsurprising that families honor their loved ones in unique and ever-changing ways.
Some families, for example, will hold a minimal graveside service for close friends and relatives and a larger gathering at a restaurant or other venue several months later to celebrate their loved one’s life. Some choose to have a memorial service on their loved one’s birthday or even wait a year and hold a life celebration on the anniversary of their death. It’s also common for families to choose less traditional locations such as a park, beach, or even their backyard,
allowing for a more intimate and personal setting, which can bring comfort to those grieving.
Ash scattering ceremonies are also increasingly popular. These may involve a small group of immediate family who gather at a designated spot to say a quiet goodbye, or a much larger gathering where many attendees participate in scattering the ashes. Since ash scattering is legal in most public places, these ceremonies can be held almost anywhere, from a private lake to a beach or national park. Many people also choose to scatter their loved one’s ashes at sea.
Another option that is slowly gaining ground is a departy – a celebration of life while a terminally ill person is still alive. Although still not quite mainstream, the idea has been embraced by more than a few people who are living with a terminal illness and want to be present when their friends and loved ones say goodbye.
The decision to have a memorial service rather than a funeral can vary depending on personal preferences and cultural customs. However, as families embrace the concept of joyfully celebrating a loved one, it is a choice that is likely to become increasingly popular as traditions around mourning and remembrance evolve.
Sources
“Industry Statistical Information”. Cremation Association of North America. https://www.cremationassociation.org/industrystatistics.html
“Recompose – Our Model”. Recompose. https://recompose.life/our-model/
SECOND PART
How to Plan a Memorial Service or Celebration of Life
The idea of a memorial service arranged by the loved ones of a person who died is a fairly modern concept. As recently as the early 1970s, North American funerals were the purview of funeral directors and funeral homes, who handled all of the arrangements, from preparing the body for viewing to transporting it for burial. When a person died, whether in the home or in a hospital, the next of kin would contact a mortuary, and a technician would appear to whisk the body away. Then, out of sight of family and friends, a funeral director would embalm the body and prepare it for viewing, if the family so desired. Soon after, loved ones would gather at the funeral home to say their last goodbyes, and a service conducted by the funeral director or a celebrant chosen by the person’s loved ones would take place. The funeral home would then transport the body to a cemetery for burial. Most families also held a graveside service — a somber, tear-filled affair — then returned home to grieve.
But all of that began to change around the latter part of the 20th century, when public interest in cremation, which had been virtually unheard of in North America in prior years, began to rise. According to data from the Cremation Association of North America, cremation rates were about 5% in 1972, having slowly risen to that level over the previous 100 years. Then, fueled by a more mobile society that enjoyed greater exposure to other cultures and traditions, a general relaxation of social and religious taboos, and a growing aversion to the steadily rising cost of burial, the number of people who chose cremation as a means of final disposition began to grow. By 2010, the North American cremation rate was 40%, and by 2019 it had risen to over 55%. And that trend shows no sign of slowing down.
Families Begin to Take Back Control of Their Dead
Alongside the steady rise in cremation rates, funeral consumers began to express a greater interest in reclaiming control of their dead. No longer reliant on funeral homes for every stage of the death-care process, they started to question ideas that they had accepted unconditionally just a few years before — perhaps most notably, the necessity of embalming and the need to have a funeral service immediately after a death. They also began to rethink the wisdom of investing thousands of dollars in goods and services that funeral homes routinely sell. Cremation gave consumers freedom — not just from skyrocketing prices but from what many had begun to view as the gaudy excesses of an outdated funeral industry.
It was against this backdrop that many American families also began to think more creatively about how and when to memorialize someone who had died. No longer tied to a graveside ceremony, which of necessity was held soon after a death, many who had chosen cremation for their loved ones began to hold memorial services weeks or even months later, when the pain of the loss had begun to subside. This, in turn, led to a slow but important paradigm shift as Americans turned away from the idea of a dark, somber funeral towards more personalized, meaningful celebrations of life.
A Modern Approach to Memorials
Today, North Americans have not only wholeheartedly embraced the new tradition of cremation, they have also begun to explore new, (and not-so-new) ways of disposing of the dead. In 2019, the state of Washington legalized the process of natural organic reduction of human bodies (composting for short), and Colorado made the process legal in 2021. Alkaline hydrolysis — a process that dissolves bodies in a solution of water and sodium hydroxide– is now legal in 18 states, and natural” or green burial is gaining popularity as well. Family-directed funerals, in which loved ones care for the body after death and hold a funeral in the home (as was the norm not too long ago), are also becoming more widely accepted as people seek out more personalized and meaningful ways to say goodbye to those they love.
All of these new options signify an emerging, albeit still hesitant, willingness to look at death and dying as a natural part of life and a desire to care for our dead in a more personal way. Thus, it’s not surprising that families are also choosing to honor their loved ones in unique and ever-changing ways.
Some families, for example, will hold a very small graveside service for close friends and relatives and a larger gathering at a restaurant or other venue several months later to celebrate their loved one’s life. Some choose to have a memorial service on their loved one’s birthday or even wait a year and hold a life celebration on the anniversary of their death. Ash scattering ceremonies are also increasingly popular. These may involve a small group of immediate family who gather at a designated spot to say a quiet goodbye, or a much larger gathering in which many attendees participate in scattering the ashes as a group. Since ash scattering is legal in most public places [link to Colleeb\n’s article], these ceremonies can be held almost anywhere, from a private lake to a beach to a national park. Many people also choose to scatter their loved one’s ashes at sea.
Another option that is gaining ground slowly is a departy – a celebration of life while a terminally ill person is still alive. Although still not quite mainstream, the idea has been embraced by more than a few people who are living with a terminal illness and want to be present when their friends and loved ones say goodbye.