How Do I Plan a Funeral?

July 24th, 2025

Planning a funeral is a big undertaking, whether you do so in advance of a death or after a loved one has died. In an ideal world, every adult would engage in some level of preplanning for their death, whether that is arranging and paying in advance for their funeral or simply making sure their loved ones know what they want done with their bodies and how they wish to be remembered after they die. But as we all know, we don’t live in an ideal world. And so the job of funeral planning often falls on the next of kin after a death occurs. 

If you find yourself in the position of needing to arrange a funeral, the first thing to keep in mind is that there are no hard and fast rules around what you need to do. Unless you are constrained by religious doctrine or strict cultural norms, you can design a service that is in accordance with your values and those of the person who died. If the deceased left written instructions in an advance healthcare directive or living will, that is an obvious place to start. But even if the person died suddenly or you have no clear idea of what they would want, you can plan a meaningful funeral by reflecting on who they were and how they lived their life. Were they a person who valued tradition and long-standing cultural norms? Or were they someone who always looked for new ways of doing things and thought outside the box? Did they love nature, music or the arts? Or was sitting by the fire, reading for hours on end, their favorite activity in life? By exploring these questions, you can start to formulate an idea of how they would like to be remembered after they’re gone. 

Keep in mind, too, that if you or someone you love is seriously ill, the time to think about funeral planning is now. Putting it off will not postpone the inevitable, nor is it “morbid” to plan for your own or a loved one’s death. Quite the opposite is true, in fact. Planning in advance gives the person who is ill a chance to have a voice in how they are honored, and to discuss practical considerations, such as who they wish to attend the service and how much money they would like to spend. With the cost of a funeral at an all-time high, pre-planning also gives you and your loved ones a chance to shop around for services and discuss what is important to the family as a whole. Not only will this help you save money, it can also greatly decrease the chance of family conflicts about what elements of a funeral to include and what to forgo. (One example: Embalming is almost always optional, and can cost as much as $500-750 depending on the funeral home you select and where you live.) Further, and perhaps most importantly, talking about how you want to be remembered after you die is a wonderful opportunity to have discussions with your loved ones about their thoughts and beliefs about life, death, love and remembrance. Many times, these conversations are some of the most intimate and meaningful you will ever have and will live on as part of your legacy after you’re gone. 

Choosing the Method of Final Disposition 

Although a number of novel methods of final disposition have been developed in recent years, burial and cremation remain the top choices for most people in North America and Europe. Choosing between the two is largely a matter of personal choice and, for some, religious and cultural beliefs. Both options are widely available across most of the United States, Canada and many countries around the world. 

If your loved one expressed no preference as to final disposition, the next of kin is typically responsible for making the choice, often in consultation with other family members and loved ones. An exception to this may occur if the person who died designated a funeral representative in their will. In most states, this person has the absolute right to determine the method of final disposition, even if the next of kin objects. 

As a general rule, your choices around burial and cremation include the following options:

• Cremation
• In-ground burial in a community cemetery
• Burial in a mausoleum

Here is a brief overview of your choices related to each one:

Cremation

Whether you choose direct cremation or cremation with a funeral service, you will need to work with a service provider to facilitate your choice. There are a number of different types of providers to choose from, including the following:

• Funeral Homes – Some funeral homes have a crematorium on their premises. Others collaborate with separate, third-party facilities to cater to your needs. They offer the convenience of arranging body transportation, visitation rooms, funerals (with the body present), memorial services (without the body), and a selection of caskets and urns.
• Cremation Retailers – These establishments primarily provide direct cremation services and urns. They might also offer basic service packages, although these are usually limited.
• Crematoriums – Whether situated at a cemetery, funeral home, or a standalone facility, crematoriums may offer direct services with the public. However, keep in mind that many require that you make arrangements through a funeral home.
• Funeral Home and Crematorium – These are comprehensive facilities that integrate a funeral home and a crematorium.
• Funeral Home, Crematorium, and Cemetery – These all-encompassing service providers offer the convenience of a funeral home, crematorium, and cemetery all under one roof.

Beyond the type of provider, you have a choice between direct cremation (a no-frills option without embalming, viewing, or funeral service) and a cremation with a service conducted by a funeral home. It’s important to note you can still have a service and a viewing prior to cremation if you choose to do so. Direct cremation is usually the most budget-friendly option and can alleviate the burden of immediate planning for the grieving family.

Lastly, deciding where to purchase a casket or cremation container and an urn is essential. Remember, a funeral home or crematorium isn’t your only option. Explore your options and choose what fits you best.

If you opt to keep cremated remains in an urn in your home, it’s important to have a succession plan for what will happen to the urn and remains after you die. Giving the urn to another family member or friend or burying the urn in a cemetery are both options.

Burial

Traditional burial continues to be a popular form of final disposition in the United States and Canada, despite the growing preference for cremation. The motivation behind this choice varies widely, often rooted in the desire to be interred alongside family members or adhere to religious or cultural practices. For those who make this decision, there are typically two alternatives:

• Ground Interment – In most community cemeteries, in-ground interment requires the acquisition of a burial plot along with a concrete vault or liner. The former encloses the casket completely, while the latter only covers the top and sides of the casket, allowing the bottom to make direct contact with the earth. If opting for a natural burial, a biodegradable casket or shroud is used, and no vault is needed.
• Mausoleum Entombment – A mausoleum is an above-ground edifice, divided into individual crypts designed to house a single individual’s remains. Some cemeteries offer companion crypts, accommodating the remains of two people end-to-end (typically chosen by spouses). Additionally, many mausoleums have columbaria, which are niches designed to hold cremated remains. 

Those considering entombment can choose from different types of mausoleums, including: 

• Family Mausoleums — These private mausoleums come with numerous crypts, constructed to house the remains of the entire family, and often, extended family members.
• Public Mausoleums — Also known as community mausoleums, these spaces can house up to several thousand crypts. They often provide a cost-sharing advantage over private mausoleums, which can be quite expensive. Typically, crypts are marked with plaques displaying the deceased’s name, faith, and dates of birth and death. Some mausoleums also offer designated areas for families to place flowers or spend time with their departed loved ones.
• Sarcophagus Mausoleums— These mausoleums, partially underground and partially above ground, have their roots in ancient Egypt, Rome, and Greece, where affluent leaders were buried in concrete coffins known as sarcophagi. Typically, the body is interred in an underground vault with the concrete sarcophagus situated above.  
• Garden Mausoleums — These are not strictly mausoleums as they are unenclosed and located outdoors. However, their open setting usually makes them more affordable than enclosed, climate-controlled mausoleums. Most garden mausoleums have a limited number of crypts and are better suited for the display of urns and keepsakes.

Other Considerations

In addition to the practical considerations involved in choosing a method of final disposition, a number of other factors may impact your choice. These include personal, cultural and religious beliefs, family traditions, environmental concerns, and cost. 

Personal, Cultural and Religious Beliefs

Burial and cremation often elicit strong emotions. Some find the notion of being buried underground unsettling, conjuring feelings of claustrophobia or disgust. Others find the idea of being cremated equally distressing, drawing associations with fire and brimstone or witches being “burned at the stake”. While these fears may not be rational or logical, they can heavily influence the choice between burial and cremation either for oneself or a loved one. 

Religion and culture also play a powerful role in the choice between burial and cremation. Some religions, notably the Jewish, Islamic and Eastern Orthodox faiths, prohibit cremation and have strict guidelines around body preparation and the timing and location of burial. Conversely, most people who ascribe to the Hindu faith believe cremation of the body is necessary in order for the person who died to transition to the spiritual realm. Some cultures also lean heavily in one direction or another: In Japan, for example, close to 100% of the population chooses cremation as a means of final disposition, while in neighboring South Korea, the opposite is true. Thus, even in the absence of strict religious doctrine, cultural influences often play an important role. 

Family Traditions

Although today’s more mobile society relies less on family traditions than in generations past, many Americans still have close ties with their families of origin. And while they may not ascribe to any particular religious or cultural rituals around death, they closely follow family traditions around caring for the dead. This may involve interment in a family burial plot, holding a funeral service at a church in their hometown, or using the services of a specific funeral home. Many families will transport the body of a loved one who died thousands of miles so that they can have a funeral and burial or cremation in the town where the family has its roots. 

Environmental Concerns

As concern over the environment and the effect of climate change increases across the globe, the environmental implications of common after-death practices has become a growing issue for many environmentally conscious individuals. There are significant environmental implications associated with both traditional burial and cremation. For example, traditional burial, particularly in cemeteries, involves the use of embalming chemicals such as formaldehyde, which can seep into the soil over time, posing risks to local ecosystems. (However, embalming is not required for a traditional casket burial. Further, the production of coffins often requires the felling of trees, contributing to deforestation. Cemeteries also take up a great deal of space, which, in many locations, could be better used for housing, recreation, or economic development. 

On the other hand, cremation uses fossil fuels and releases greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, particularly carbon dioxide, which contributes to global warming. Cremation also results in the release of mercury from dental fillings, which has the potential to contaminate air and water resources. 

In light of these issues, many environmentally conscious individuals are increasingly considering natural burial, which involves the body being returned to the earth in a biodegradable coffin or shroud without the use of harmful chemicals, as an eco-friendly alternative.  

Cost

Perhaps the most significant driver of the shift from burial to cremation in recent years is the difference in cost. As the price of a traditional funeral with burial in a cemetery has continued to soar, many families have turned to cremation as a more affordable option. Unfortunately, the cost of a cremation is still not insignificant and will vary significantly depending on the services selected. However, if you choose direct cremation and hold a personalized DIY memorial service at a later time, the costs can decrease dramatically. 

Natural burial can be an even more cost-effective solution to consider – in many cases it may be comparable or even cheaper than a traditional cremation service. It is also important to note that natural burial sites generally have lower ongoing costs for maintenance and upkeep compared with a traditional community cemetery. 

Costs for a traditional casket burial, cremation, and natural burial can vary widely based on geography as well. 

Funeral or Memorial Service?

The first decision most people need to make when planning an end-of-life service is whether to hold a funeral or memorial service or some combination of the two. For clarity, the essential difference between them is simply the presence or absence of the loved one’s body. That is, a funeral is a service held with the body present, whereas a memorial service (sometimes called a celebration of life) is held after the body is cremated or interred. In some rare instances (for example, if a person dies accidentally and no body is recovered) a memorial service may be held even though final disposition has not occurred. 

Except in cases where a person’s culture or religion mandates specific after-death rituals, deciding whether to hold a funeral or memorial service is largely a personal choice. In some cultures and for some individuals, a “formal” viewing and visitation is an important end-of-life ritual. For others, viewing the body isn’t an essential component of mourning a death. Some families feel strongly that religion or spirituality should feature prominently in mourning rituals, while others will prefer a more secular approach. Additionally, some families have a long tradition of burying their dead at a local cemetery or a family burial plot while others favor cremation and an ash-scattering service held sometime after the death. 

With that said, here are a few things to keep in mind as you consider the type of funeral or you would like to have.

• Funerals are traditionally held at a funeral home or place of worship. A viewing or visitation during which friends and family come to view the body and pay their last respects is often held shortly before the funeral at the same location. 
• A number of options for final disposition are available today that did not exist even a few years ago. In addition to traditional in-ground burial, cremation, or interment in a mausoleum, you may be able to choose green or natural burial, alkaline hydrolysis (also known as “resomation”) or natural organic reduction. (Note: These may or may not be available where you live).
• Because the body is present at a funeral, it typically occurs shortly after someone dies — usually within three to seven days. A memorial service may be held shortly after the death or many weeks or even months afterwards. 
• A memorial service can be held at virtually any location, including a private home, a restaurant, a beach, or local park. 
• Both funerals and memorial services can be religious or secular. Religious funerals are usually fairly formal affairs with the format dictated by religious doctrine. A secular service can be much more individualized according to the preferences of the family and the wishes of the person who died. 
• It is perfectly acceptable to combine elements of a traditional funeral with an informal memorial service. For example, if your loved one is being buried, you may choose to have a graveside service with prayers and a eulogy followed by a more casual gathering at a restaurant or someone’s home during which attendees can share memories of the loved one’s life. 
• You can have a funeral in a private home. Most often this is held in the home of the person who died and may include preparing the body for burial or cremation. (See our topic: home funerals and natural death care to learn more.)

Whether planning a funeral or a memorial service, it is always important to honor the wishes of the deceased. It’s also important, however, to honor the needs and wishes of their loved ones who are beginning their grief journey. For example, your loved one may have said they didn’t want a visitation, but it may be important for family and friends to gather and mourn after the death. Holding an informal gathering after final disposition may be a nice compromise in this situation. When possible, including family members and close friends in discussions about everyone’s needs and wishes will help a family create a service that is meaningful and supports everyone involved.

Budgeting for a Funeral 

Although loved ones often feel the urge to spend lavishly for a funeral, in truth, it simply isn’t necessary to overspend. Under optimal circumstances, the person who died left funds in a payable-upon-death account to cover their final expenses as well as instructions for the kind of service they want. Or they may have prepaid for their funeral through a local funeral home (Unfortunately, this doesn’t always preclude additional costs. See our topic: preplanning for funeral expenses to learn more.) But in many cases, the cost of a funeral is shouldered by the next of kin. 

If this is the case for your family, here are a few essential things you should know: 

• Life insurance companies typically take 14-60 days to pay out on a claim. Even if you file a claim as soon as possible after the death (you will need a copy of the death certificate to do so) you may need another source of funds to pay for final expenses (e.g. the services of a funeral home, burial or cremation). With that being said, many funeral homes will forgo payment if the next of kin provides a copy of a life insurance policy with a benefit adequate to cover the cost.
• Your right to be treated fairly and honestly by funeral service providers (funeral directors as well as crematory operators and cemeteries if they provide both good and services) is protected by the FTC’s Funeral Rule. This federal rule states, among other things, that you must
  • Receive a written price list if you visit a funeral home to inquire about funeral arrangements. This General Price List must be handed to you before any discussion of funeral arrangements occurs. It must also be provided to you if you call on the phone. 
  • Pay for only those items you want. Other than a non-declinable basic services fee which covers the funeral home’s overhead and administrative costs, you can decline any goods or services the funeral home offers you.You cannot be forced to buy a “package deal”.
  • See a list of casket prices before you are asked to choose a casket. Funeral homes often have lower-priced caskets that they do not display. You may also buy a casket from a retailer who isn’t affiliated with the funeral home. 
  • Be allowed to decline embalming. No state in the U.S. mandates that bodies be routinely embalmed. Some, but not all, states require embalming or refrigeration if the body is not buried or cremated within a certain amount of time, but refrigeration is usually an acceptable alternative.  Additionally, some funeral homes require embalming if a viewing and visitation are planned, but they may forgo this requirement if the family strongly objects. Alternatively, you can choose another funeral home. 

• You do not need to buy a casket if your loved one will be cremated. Federal law mandates that a funeral home or crematory must offer you the option of using an alternative container for the cremation, which may be made of any combustible material, such as unfinished wood, pressed wood, fiberboard, cardboard or any other combustible material. You may purchase this from a funeral home or crematorium, buy one online, or even make one yourself.

• The decision about how much to pay for a funeral is largely up to you. Many families spend far more than their loved one would have wanted because they are grief-stricken and want to express their sorrow and their love. Take your time and compare prices. They can vary a great deal even among service providers in the same city or town. (In many cases, you can find prices online and review them from the comfort and privacy of your home.)
• Have an open discussion with your funeral director or other service provider about your budget. Spending more does not mean the service will be more meaningful and a funeral director can help plan a beautiful tribute regardless of the amount you have to spend.
• Direct cremation or an immediate burial can save hundreds if not thousands of dollars on the cost of final disposition, and allow time for planning a memorial service at a later time. By postponing the memorial service for even a few weeks, you will have time to research venues and think about how you and your loved ones can organize a memorial that you can afford. 

Enlisting Help With a Funeral 

As we said at the beginning of this article, planning a funeral is a big undertaking, especially if you are doing so while grieving a death. If you are fortunate enough to have a supportive group of friends or family to help with the arrangements, do not be afraid to enlist their help.They can be an invaluable resource, not only in helping with the tasks involved in planning, but also by providing emotional support during a very challenging time. 

The many functions they can help with include:

• Calling relatives, friends, and employers to notify them of the death
• Researching prices for desired good and services, either online or by calling providers on the phone
• Contacting venues (e.g. a local church or synagogue; restaurants; etc.) to discuss dates, times and the number of attendees.
• Sending details about the service to those you wish to invite (This may need to be done through a phone call, email or text if the service will be held within a few days of the death.)
• Choosing and ordering floral arrangements
• Contacting a musician or singer if you would like live music at the event
• Locating a photographer or videographer 
• Deciding on a menu if you plan to serve food. They can also contact a caterer or organize a potluck with your attendees. Note that your funeral director may have established relationships with caterers to simplify this process.
• Arrange transportation and/or lodging for friends and family coming from out of town
• Arrange child care for attendees with young children
• Contact an officiant 
• Organize any specific decorations or activities you would like to include in the service. For example, do you want to have memorabilia or photographs displayed that highlight important moments from your loved one’s life? Would you like attendees to participate in the service in some way? Ask someone in your circle to facilitate. 

If, on the other hand, you do not have a network of friends or family who can help you plan a service, or if you have some time before the service will be held, you may wish to hire an event planner to help. These professionals can arrange all of the details involved in a funeral, from finding a suitable venue to organizing your guest list to interfacing with a caterer and much more. Keep in mind, however, that event planners are often booked well in advance, especially in summer months when the number of weddings peaks. If you plan to hire one, call to set up an appointment to meet as soon as you can. And even if you aren’t planning a “traditional” funeral, note that funeral directors are also event planners and can assist with planning a meaningful event at the location of your choice; they are also available on short notice.

Another option you may wish to consider if you or your loved one is still living but terminally ill is to enlist the help of a death doula. This is especially true if you plan to have a home funeral, although either can be helpful even if you are also using the services of a funeral home. Both death doulas and home funeral guides work with families to facilitate a meaningful, personalized end-of-life experience, including organizing a funeral. 

Planning a funeral can be both challenging and fulfilling. There are many decisions to be made, but taking the time to learn about and select the best options can allow you to remember your loved one in a way that is both personalized and meaningful to you. 

Sources

“Appointing a Funeral Representative”. Prout Funeral Home. https://proutfuneralhome.com/appointing-a-funeral-representative/

“The FTC Funeral Rule”. FTC: Consumer Advice. https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/ftc-funeral-rule